I cannot believe it has been this long since I last posted something onto my blog. It is not only a source of inspiration but a way of getting back into my own when I feel things are overwhelming me. I feel like I am most sane when I am putting my feeling down. Sometimes the world zooms by too fast and I can hardly cope. I have enjoyed the peaceful minutes I spend with myself on this blog because they help me put things into the right perspective. Sometimes I feel too lonely but when I am here I do not need anyone but my mind. I reflect, I meditate, I cogitate, and I straighten my jumbled thought and at the end I feel better.
Thursday February 23 started like any one of my ordinary days only it ended with me questioning my own commitment to keeping myself healthy. Last evening February 22 I had a class on health management. One of the things we discussed was how hard it is to get people to change their health behavior and live healthy lifestyles. I am all for incentives that people can enjoy from their health carriers or employers to motivate them to be healthy, but sometimes the extrinsic motivators do not actually help as such it is the intrinsic motivators that induce people to live healthy life styles. Though yesterday my provider told me of the implications of my high cholesterol nothing was new and i know exactly with my history of heart disease, blood pressure and diabetes, in my family the odds are against me. I need to change my life style, but what do I need to motivate me to change this life style that I am so comfortable with?
In May 2011 my cholesterol was high and I managed to control it, yesterday I was once more told my cholesterol was up again, I could not believe my ears. I knew the next thing my provider was going to tell me was to reduce my weight. I was resistant to the idea. I have so far maintained my weight at the same level from June last year to the present day. I lost more than 20 pounds by exercise and eating right. I have not indulged in animal flesh besides, fish but I know I have been more than a glutton when it comes to my cheese and peanut butter.
I love the grilled cheese sandwich, and I make excuses that it is a few of my main sources of protein. I also love my protein. Inwardly I am clinching as I bite each sandwich because I know I am having one too many. When I am lazy to cook what do I do? I just make my grilled cheese sandwich! Yes when I am tired it is no problem to make it and I do not have a sink full of dirty dishes at the end. Growing in Zimbabwe my main source of protein was peanut butter. I do not just use peanut but I relish it. I use it on my banana slices, my apple slices, my greens, my sandwiches and oh yes I can just lick teaspoonful of peanut butter. I feel like I am in heaven. I do not buy the little jars of peanut butter I buy the almost 2kg ones, of smooth and crunchy peanut butter both. I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER.
Like all things and all love relationships end, I know mine with peanut butter and cheese have to come to an end. Not just butter but also the peanuts. I can roast them in my micro wave, I can cook them and eat them as my main meal. I know now I have been over indulging in my peanut butter and peanuts intake and am so sad our relationship has to end. Yes last night you guessed right. I over indulged. I took yes three table spoons and just licked all the peanut but away until I fell asleep. I made my decision those were the last spoons of peanut butter I will ever lick. I gave up sour cream, I have given up pork, bacon, beef, ribs, oxtail, and all types of beef jerks. Last night made the hard decision that this relationship too HAS to END.
I value my health more. I will eat and use peanuts in a reasonable manner. I am not an addict and I can do without peanut butter and cheese. Peanut Butter I love you but I love my health better. Cheese I love you but not to the detriment of my health. Our relationship has to be healthy as such, I am making a conscious decision not to buy chips and all unhealthy snacks, I am making the same conscious decisions where you two are concerned. I am going to eat you in moderation. I am not going to abandon you but I am going to have to limit my intake of you. In the meantime I will have walnuts, almonds, pecans, and reasonably.
