Life is a journey

The first and last time I blogged about anything was this year on father's day. I realize it has almost been two weeks I have not been back to my blog. That day I was desolate, I was missing my father and all he represented in my life as his daughter. Today memories and sense of loss hit me hard and I find I also miss Noel's wife my mother Selina.

It has been several years now and I since have been working on my personal memoir. Today was another extremely difficult  day because I was working on a chapter where I revisited my mother's death. Selina passed away on April 3 in Zimbabwean dates and April 2 2002, in American dates. I had last seen my mother my mother on August 11 2000. All the time of my tumultos marriage my mother had encouraged me to leave him. I never thought I could leave him because I did not think that on my own I would ever make it with five children.

I realized as I was writing that I finally left because everyday I heard my mother's voice believing in me and hoping I would stop the abuse by leaving and not stopping it (the abuse) because I was dead. I thought I would share my thoughts with all those who had their mothers encourage them to leave abusive partners rather than do the traditional and encourage their daughters to stay. My mother never encouraged me to stay. She always told us (her daughters) we could afford to take of our families as we were working women, and needed not to endure abuse, like women from her era. This a tribute to my mother Amai Selina Mutopo.Remember life is a journey, you had to travel before you could leave!

Amai! Mother

I made it Amai
I survived my husband’s abuse
And I am making it alone
As a survivor of his multiple domestic abuse
But I am never alone Amai

I made it Amai
I survived all the traumas  
Meted on me over and over
As he pummelled my body and soul
Which he never could have control Amai

Thank you Amai
For letting me know that
I did not have to die first
Before the domestic violence could stop
For in leaving him it stopped Amai

It was your voice Amai
That kept telling me
I could always do better;
Even when you were gone,
Spiritually you were with me Amai

I did not disappoint you Amai
I kept your voice within me
And you continued to inspire me
Even from far beyond
I could hear your gentle voice Amai

You can rest in peace Amai
As I always listened to you as a child
I heard your voice as an adult
I finally left with my life
And I can live as my own adult Amai

Thank you, Thank you Amai!