Lazy Sunday

No one deserves this break more than I do. I have been reading and writing and trying to keep on top of my assignments because that is the kind of person I am. I do not rush to meet the deadline I meet the deadline at a rush that is way head of time. I never wondered whether my transport will leave me behind because I was running behind, because I would be there waiting all the time. I am not one who is late for appointments, I am usually the one waiting for other people to arrive. As such, by the time deadlines come around I am just waiting for them because all my work is done and ready.

 So today is just a day one of those rare days this fall of 2011, that I can enjoy my reality shows that I have not watched in many months. Today is the day I can enjoy my one hour long walk because I have earned it. Today is the day I get to clean my place because I have been ignoring it for long. Today I get to cook a nice hot meal for myself because I been eating food from two weeks ago when my kids visited and I need a hot meal. Oh there no, no, no Trish, Ra, and Farai it was not stale by the way I know better than to eat food that would poison me, but what else did you want me to do, to throw away all that good food. Next time make sure you stay long enough to eat all the food, because in my world we never threw food away and I still feel guilty throwing good food away!

Oh I will also get to enjoy that bar of chocolate I bought a week ago and had not been round to savor the tasty creamy chocolate in my mouth. Best f all, I will spend time on FB and catch up with all the friends and relatives, and the gossip that FB brings into my life. I will get to change my photos on FB because there are people though they might not admit it enjoy peaking at my pretty pictures. Today I just feel fabulous, so I am going to post that fabulous picture on FB. Have a fabulous and blessed day I know mine has been.

Busy Life

I guess in life we can never be really content with what we have. Last year I was basically idle and besides volunteering in my community I did not do anything really productive. It was the only year ever in my life as an adult that I was not juggling one or two jobs, or going to school, taking care of family or extended family. Yet I was not happy. I started my blog so as to pass time, and wished I could have something to do. I turned to eating as a way of passing time and entertaining myself as a result I put on a lot of weight and pushed my cholesterol levels up. Yet when I worked two or three jobs I wished I could just find one day to myself!

This academic year started on a different note altogether. I am back in school where I am torturing myself with bio stats or bio stats is torturing me. I am spending hours on my dining table trying to figure out the probability, to calculate the f test, to fail to reject the null hypothesis or reject the hypothesis, trying to calculate the degree of freedom, the confidence interval, and find what the critical value is, whether I use a two tail test or one tail test, to figure out if variances are equal whether I fail to reject or I reject the null hypothesis. You see how I am being tortured by bio stats and I am torturing them in return.

In another class I am reading about the spread of disease and about public health. I am learning about mortality and morbidity. I am learning about person years, incidence, prevalence, risk, and odds ratio, cohorts, case studies, experiments, placebos, what the heck! Sometimes I forget to eat because I am so engrossed in my work until I find myself having dizzy spells and I realize the engine is empty. So who will study what the cause of my death was? They might attribute it to Salmonella that was in the egg I had for breakfast, to Listeria in my favorite cantaloupe, caused my heart failure due to stress, no, no, I forgot to eat!

I have no time to be idle, or time to write on my blog anymore. Though I am happy I am not content because I do not get to do all I wish I could do in a day. Tatiana the other day threw a tantrum because I had not talked to her in days. Tao and Tana I have now missed them for weeks yet I used to speak to them on a daily basis. Trish leaves messages and says "Mother where are you?" Joy said "my lucky day" because she had not seen me on line for so long yet I used to chat with her almost everyday, now I am scarce even to my own children. My friends tell me they hardly recognize my voice anymore. Well I am busy but I did not say I am content. I enjoy what I am doing but, now I miss all the other things I used to do when I was not working.

I have to learn that in life you cannot have everything. That's why they say you win some and you lose some.
To be content is to believe everything is alright and there is never a time when everything is alright. I love you all and I promise it will get better!

Not my own writing

Dance Like No One's Watching~

We convince ourselves that life
will be better after we get married,
have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough
and we'll be more content when they are.

After that we're frustrated that we
have teenagers to deal with,
we will certainly be happy
when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete
when our spouse gets his or her act together,

when we get a nicer car,
are able to go on a nice vacation,
when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time
to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself
and decide to be happy anyway.
One of my favorite quotes comes
from Alfred D Souza.

He said, "For a long time it had seemed
to me that life was about to begin -real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way,
something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid. Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me that these
obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see
that there is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way,
so, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it
with someone special,
special enough to spend your time...
and remember that time waits for no one.

So stop waiting until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring, until summer,
until fall, until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you've had a drink,
until you've sobered up,
until you die, until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time
than right now to be happy...
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So, Work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt and
Dance Like no one's watching.

~Author Unknown~

I just wanted to share a poem I found so true!