A few days ago I wrote about the relationship of grandparents and grandchildren. Now I have had several days to experience it more and be tested as well. Nothing has taken away from my joy of those two naughty and endearing grandchildren of mine. The days have gone by so fast because every minute of my waking hours is spent with them. They have been the center of my world and nothing else stopped to exist. I know their mom might feel like I am taking over but I know my boundaries. I am not there to discipline them, I am not there not make their schedules, I am just here to spend time as much as I can with them.
Tao is at an age where he understands the meaning of play and seriousness. He knows how far he can push the buttons, test my temper, try my patience, and somehow unlike my children he knows Gogo has a lot of patience where he is concerned, can tolerate his misbehaviors, and try my temper all he can. He knows when he wants his mom or his dad's attention, and he knows when he wants Gogo to take him to the bathroom and wipe his bottom and then have the audacity to tell me 'wait Gogo I have to go again and please put your fingers on your nose!' Who else but a grandson can get away with that. He knows when he misbehaves and I tell him he will be facing disciplinary action from his mom then he will cry for his mom because he knows his mom's threats are just empty threats, yet even a look from his dad speaks volumes, and a word puts him in his right place. I have had a wonderful week bonding with Tao and no price can even be attached to that!
As for Tana the first couple of days were so heartbreaking. She would not willingly come to me. She would not even look at me let alone turn her head when I called her name she continued to ignore me and obliterated me into oblivion, ouch that hurt I tell you. Though for the several past days she has sown says she is getting used to the idea of having me around and that did a lot to warm up my heart. Yesterday Saturday somehow, marked a milestone in our relationship. She sought me out the whole day. We took pictures of her looking at me and me looking at her in the mirror! She wanted to participate in all the playing I did with Tao, she even let me feed me. She would come and seek me from the living room and run back to the kitchen so that I could follow her. She let me pick her up and we could play Giddya, Giddya! and she now knows when I get hold of her I can tickle her and she is ready to keep laughing. She knows when she sees me with my camera she is posing for pictures. It has been more than what my heart and my emotions hungered for! To hold this tiny baby girl in my arms and feel her, smell her, and actually see her and not just picture her, this was a true blessing!
However, no matter how I feel right now, it will never make up for all the time I will not be with them, for all the time I am gone and I will miss them with all my being! I cannot tell what the future holds but for the time being I am happy I got to meet my grandchildren!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Grandchildren
I am sitting here wondering why I feel so fulfilled after such a long time of not holding Taonenyasha/Theodore and Tanashe/Theone in my arms. I start to wonder what other people have said about grandparents-grandchildren relationships. I google that up just to get a feel of how other grandparents have described that relationship. The first quote was this one!
Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation. ~Lois Wyse!
Now I am connected to my granchildren through their mother, just as I was connected to my grandparents through my mother, just as she was also connected to her own grandparents through her parents and so on and so on. How very appropriate! I look at Tao and I cannot help but realize that here is my own extension through my daughter! I look at Tana and hear her laugh and see her smile and she touches my heart because I recognize a little bit of my own smile in hers! At some point in my life I was that innocent, I laughed without a care, I smiled to show my love, Tana and Tao do the same but they care. Before they could fully trust me they had to realize my love for them. Now they come to me as Tao says 'Gogo' and Tana says 'baby' to me and we threel roll on the floor for hours just grandma and grandbabies! I see that dimple on Tana's cheek and I know the day I will leave her I am going to have a hole that deep in my heart because I do not ever want to leave! I hear Tao's voice as I drift off to sleep and relaize I never want to miss his voice in my ears ever again.
Then I find another quote......
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb.
One saying, that perfect love does not come until the first grandchild, and the second, and the third, and the next and th next and it will always be perfect with each grandchild because they will all be perfect! I cannot explain it but there is comething so special in my heart, not that I never felt it for my children, I did but then this time it is multiplied tenfold. Maybe it is because when I had my children I was still so very young and did not even look beyond bringing them up. Now that they are adults I cannot believe I have been blessed to see my own grandchildren. I have siblings who did not live to see their own children grow up as such I appreciate this life that I have been blessed with. I have friends who died in the prime of their lives, with so many plans, they never realized, and I am so grateful that I have realized so many plans some that I never even thought I had. Yes I have now experienced perfect love through my grandchildren., not only one but so far two, how can I not feel this perfect love!
A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown
I cannot believe I have been sitting in this house for five days now and I have not even tried to watch the news! All I have been watching Cbiebees, Toy Story, Toy Book, Simpsons, Smurfs, Elmo, and all the British children's TV shows. I last read story books to Farai when he was in grade school now he is a man in his 20s! These few days it has been Tao and Tana counting, jumping, riding horse, reading, doing the alphabet and I find my heart nostalgic with that love I had for my children while we read and played. What babysitter can be as perfect as that babysitting and teaching. We laugh, we run, we take naps, and yes watch TV shows Tao loves, and Tana watches innocently, and we take our own home videos, memories to treasure forever. For me TV for these days is not even missed because I have real live drama with my grandbabies! I wonder when Bravo is going to bring on the show Real Live Grandmothers and Their Grandchildren for you never know with reality TV!
Then I see another quote.........
What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani.
I never thought at any point and time I would quote Rudolph Giuliani in anything but here he gives me the icing on the cake! I might not have brought cookies but we have been munching on peanuts because in my culture that's what grandmother's provide in abundance besides life peanuts to make you thirsty and drink! I have love unconditional, patience like I never knew, humor to see the fun in what I do not even understand, comfort in knowing them, kindness because they need it in this world, care how can I not, and lots of kisses and hugs!
Grandchildren are the reverse of all I have said above about grandparents! So there is no difference, grandchildren provide us with lessons that we did not know when our own children were younger, they reconnect us to our children as adults as we only knew them as our children, they take us back to our own childhood to our own grandparents and realize the lessons we learned what we know without even knowing we were being taught anything, they bring memories of our own parents because that was the role we thought we knew the most but now realize as our own children try hard that we did not know anything. Grandchildren are more than just dots that connect generation to generation, they are the link pins that ensure we never get disconnected and that generations are interconnected together forever!
When a child is born, so are grandmothers. ~Judith Levy
I was born more than 50 years ago, and so my role as a grandparent was born! It just did not start when the child the grandchild was born we are prepared for the role from the day we are born!
Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation. ~Lois Wyse!
Now I am connected to my granchildren through their mother, just as I was connected to my grandparents through my mother, just as she was also connected to her own grandparents through her parents and so on and so on. How very appropriate! I look at Tao and I cannot help but realize that here is my own extension through my daughter! I look at Tana and hear her laugh and see her smile and she touches my heart because I recognize a little bit of my own smile in hers! At some point in my life I was that innocent, I laughed without a care, I smiled to show my love, Tana and Tao do the same but they care. Before they could fully trust me they had to realize my love for them. Now they come to me as Tao says 'Gogo' and Tana says 'baby' to me and we threel roll on the floor for hours just grandma and grandbabies! I see that dimple on Tana's cheek and I know the day I will leave her I am going to have a hole that deep in my heart because I do not ever want to leave! I hear Tao's voice as I drift off to sleep and relaize I never want to miss his voice in my ears ever again.
Then I find another quote......
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb.
One saying, that perfect love does not come until the first grandchild, and the second, and the third, and the next and th next and it will always be perfect with each grandchild because they will all be perfect! I cannot explain it but there is comething so special in my heart, not that I never felt it for my children, I did but then this time it is multiplied tenfold. Maybe it is because when I had my children I was still so very young and did not even look beyond bringing them up. Now that they are adults I cannot believe I have been blessed to see my own grandchildren. I have siblings who did not live to see their own children grow up as such I appreciate this life that I have been blessed with. I have friends who died in the prime of their lives, with so many plans, they never realized, and I am so grateful that I have realized so many plans some that I never even thought I had. Yes I have now experienced perfect love through my grandchildren., not only one but so far two, how can I not feel this perfect love!
A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown
I cannot believe I have been sitting in this house for five days now and I have not even tried to watch the news! All I have been watching Cbiebees, Toy Story, Toy Book, Simpsons, Smurfs, Elmo, and all the British children's TV shows. I last read story books to Farai when he was in grade school now he is a man in his 20s! These few days it has been Tao and Tana counting, jumping, riding horse, reading, doing the alphabet and I find my heart nostalgic with that love I had for my children while we read and played. What babysitter can be as perfect as that babysitting and teaching. We laugh, we run, we take naps, and yes watch TV shows Tao loves, and Tana watches innocently, and we take our own home videos, memories to treasure forever. For me TV for these days is not even missed because I have real live drama with my grandbabies! I wonder when Bravo is going to bring on the show Real Live Grandmothers and Their Grandchildren for you never know with reality TV!
Then I see another quote.........
What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani.
I never thought at any point and time I would quote Rudolph Giuliani in anything but here he gives me the icing on the cake! I might not have brought cookies but we have been munching on peanuts because in my culture that's what grandmother's provide in abundance besides life peanuts to make you thirsty and drink! I have love unconditional, patience like I never knew, humor to see the fun in what I do not even understand, comfort in knowing them, kindness because they need it in this world, care how can I not, and lots of kisses and hugs!
Grandchildren are the reverse of all I have said above about grandparents! So there is no difference, grandchildren provide us with lessons that we did not know when our own children were younger, they reconnect us to our children as adults as we only knew them as our children, they take us back to our own childhood to our own grandparents and realize the lessons we learned what we know without even knowing we were being taught anything, they bring memories of our own parents because that was the role we thought we knew the most but now realize as our own children try hard that we did not know anything. Grandchildren are more than just dots that connect generation to generation, they are the link pins that ensure we never get disconnected and that generations are interconnected together forever!
When a child is born, so are grandmothers. ~Judith Levy
I was born more than 50 years ago, and so my role as a grandparent was born! It just did not start when the child the grandchild was born we are prepared for the role from the day we are born!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
He/She Completes Me
I am sitting here wondering how many times I have heard someone say somebody completes them. I wonder in my mind's view whether they were created incomplete initially and whether I am the one who fails to get. In my understanding I am a woman made in His image. That goes for everyone whether man or woman we are all made in His image. For me I know He took care of all the details when my life was formed and He forgot nothing. Why then would I feel as though I need someone to complete me. I also know I am here in His perfect time not by mere chance. I did not arrive too late in history nor did I arrive ahead of my schedule. As such I fit perfectly into my world and the world fits into me. Why then would I need someone to complete because that would not make me fit into my place and my place would not fit me. In that context then, I know I do not need anyone to complete me as I was created at the appropriate time to fit in with His perfect plans for me.
Well some might say it is all but sour grapes. No I am not sour about anything but I feel completely the opposite because I have so much to be grateful for. I have experienced love of family, closeness of the ones who love me the most in the world. I have had a happy life despite all that I endured for it was meant for my growth and preparation for the world. As such I had to go through it before I could appreciate all that in life had for me. We live, learn and we grow and I believe it did not happen for no reason. However even though my family are that close to me because they are my blood I know as a human being I am complete as I am. Why then would I need someone whom I am not related to through my DNA to complete me? My family's world would not come to sudden halt if I were to suddenly disappear. Neither would mine if they were to suddenly disappear. I would be obliged to carry on. Their lives would continue as well but I know they will be affected by my loss, obviously I would leave a hole in their lives, just as I would be affected by their loss similarly.
I am a physically abled person. I have a fully functioning mind, I am really smart, intelligent, I have good judgment of character. I have no idiosyncratic behaviors that I personally question about myself. Of course I miss having that special someone to share with on a daily basis but I do not need that person to complete me for I was made complete. I am as normal as anyone would wish for except hence I do not need anyone to complete me. Do you still need someone to complete you? Look within you and you will find you are complete but there are certain aspects of life and living that we cannot fulfill on our own, just like no man is an island. As such we need each other to depend on each other, to believe in each other, to help each other, to love each other, to trash each other, but not complete each other.
Well some might say it is all but sour grapes. No I am not sour about anything but I feel completely the opposite because I have so much to be grateful for. I have experienced love of family, closeness of the ones who love me the most in the world. I have had a happy life despite all that I endured for it was meant for my growth and preparation for the world. As such I had to go through it before I could appreciate all that in life had for me. We live, learn and we grow and I believe it did not happen for no reason. However even though my family are that close to me because they are my blood I know as a human being I am complete as I am. Why then would I need someone whom I am not related to through my DNA to complete me? My family's world would not come to sudden halt if I were to suddenly disappear. Neither would mine if they were to suddenly disappear. I would be obliged to carry on. Their lives would continue as well but I know they will be affected by my loss, obviously I would leave a hole in their lives, just as I would be affected by their loss similarly.
I am a physically abled person. I have a fully functioning mind, I am really smart, intelligent, I have good judgment of character. I have no idiosyncratic behaviors that I personally question about myself. Of course I miss having that special someone to share with on a daily basis but I do not need that person to complete me for I was made complete. I am as normal as anyone would wish for except hence I do not need anyone to complete me. Do you still need someone to complete you? Look within you and you will find you are complete but there are certain aspects of life and living that we cannot fulfill on our own, just like no man is an island. As such we need each other to depend on each other, to believe in each other, to help each other, to love each other, to trash each other, but not complete each other.
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