Glutton for punishment

I used to think I was a glutton for punishment for all the harsh and cruel things I put up with in life as a married woman. I held on to a one-sided marriage for more than 27 years. My marriage was filled with abuse, disrespect, infidelity, violence in every aspect I can think of, but for 27 years I put up with it. Maybe, It was all the fights that brought out the best in me and made me just go for the sky and know that the sky was the limit. Now I am subjecting myself to worse punishments willingly because I just happen to love life and intigued by what makes people ill and what can be done to control the spread of disease. Maybe now I am a glutton with a purpose.

I started improving myself academically when I was in my late 30s. At times I wondered whether I would make it or not, but I proved I had the intelligence to hang with the best in the world. However, it seems I have not learned when to stop. I earned my doctorate about six years ago. However, my heart is no longer in education. I conducted my research in health education. Thats when I realized that I needed to go in different direction all together with my career. My research was on the perceptions of leadership in HIV education in secondary schools. After condution my interviews with focus groups in schools I realized that was what I wanted to do. I will never forget the voices of the children I talked to in all the schools I went to. I will never forget the faces of all relatives and friends I have lost to HIV. I will never forget the trauma inflicted on the relatives left behind, maybe thats why I am a glutton for punishment and even consider taking STATISTICS!

There was this urge in me that I could change the lives of people in my country especially of the youths who told me that by they time they learned about protection in sexual intimacy most times they would have been intimate with someone without protection. No matter what people think about my culture, some think we are too promiscous but the problem is we are too closed or too conservative. We do not talk about sex, period. We always assume that kids will supress their sexual feelings until they are ready for marriage which I know is just wishful thinking. The youth have raging hormones and adults in their lives simply pretend the youth will get over them, or they will be able to control their emotions. 

How can they? They need people who are committed to actually step out of the box and start talking about the unmentionables of life. They need adults who can dare challenge traditional norms and values and be responsible to teach youth about the facts of life. Not only youth need to be taught about the pandemic but all adults whether male or female they need to be taught about sexual responsibility. In Zimbabwe one in every four adults are HIV positive. Those are basic statistics, which are scaring. These basics numbers do not need anyone to calculate how the disease is spread, what the rate of incidence is, or what the prevalence rate  is.

The other day I was researching the Spanish Flu of 1918 and realized that investigators are having to go back decades now to tell how ravaged Africa was by the flu. That intrigues me. HIV is now, it is threatening many people's lives, it has affected many people's lives, and it will affect many people's lives. I want to be able to say I played my part. I have always had questions about why certain diseases happen and are eradicated and yet others have been lying dormant like HIV possibly for years centuries then suddenly HIV just peaked from the 1980's and trends show it has not been deteriorating at all. As responsible people I feel we all need to able to play a part to curtail the spread of this disease, that's why I am going back to school at my age again to torture my mind with STATISTICS!

I always had a phobia for numbers, let alone crunching them into meaningful statistics that can be interpreted to some meaningful and intelligent data and can be interpreted by anyone in the world, then be used to prevent the same from happening in later generations. I decided to go back to school again this year and I am changing my career path in my fifties! I want work in public health. I want to understand how disease is spread and how it can be prevented. My nemesis was not the learning of theories because I have learned many theories. My fear was STATISTICS! During my first class I was wondering whether I was a glutton for punishment. However, I realize  I am not that at all but I am passionate about life, and all my life I have always done things to serve my community. For I have never said I can not it, I always say if others can do it so can I. I have always pushed my self to know that the sky is the limit, and if it is in my heart I can accomplish it.